Do you secretly think you are not good enough at your job? That everything you have achieved is more luck than hard work? That someone else will be far more capable at that opportunity than you? Do you worry that someone will find out you are an impostor?
The term impostor syndrome was first coined in 1978 in a report around research into high achieving women. This study found around 70% of individuals will experience these feelings at some point in their career, with women and marginalised groups particularly vulnerable.
Nurses and midwives with impostor syndrome may find they avoid opportunities, from mentoring students to involvement in union activities to career progression. The result is that the profession loses out on some of our most compassionate and reflective colleagues becoming nursing /midwifery leaders.
This phenomenon speaks to me. I qualified as a midwife in 2000, in awe of my colleagues who always seemed composed and expert in every situation. Fast forward 20+ years and I’m now in a senior leadership position, yet I can’t really understand how I got here. Was there a mistake in recruitment? Did I really pass that exam?
Maybe no one else applied for the job, and employing me was better than having no one in post?
I’ve recognised that other people see me in a very different way than I view myself. I am hypercritical, finding it easier to focus on any perceived error than on what I do well. For some nurses, impostor syndrome can leave them frozen professionally – where self-criticism stops them applying for development or promotion.
This year’s RCN Congress hosted a learning event about impostor syndrome; a valuable session to reflect with colleagues about how this affects us. For me, I’ve had to realise that these feelings of incompetence are just that – feelings. They are not facts. Other things that I have found useful to live with impostor syndrome include:
- Asking other people for honest feedback. In my role, we use an on-line tool to create a 360-degree multi source feedback. Using this, colleagues can give anonymous feedback about all aspects of your practice.
- Be prepared to receive comments on what you do well, and how you can improve. There is always something we can do better.
- Reflecting on the positive first– we impostors tend to seek out the negative comments first! Consider the areas you can improve, and then move on.
- For existing nurse leaders, think about how you support self esteem in your teams. We are often better at responding to complaints than compliments.
There are some positives to feeling like an impostor, as long as it doesn’t prevent you from reaching your goals. You will always listen to feedback on how you can improve, and you will act on it. You will always consider the options before acting, as you may doubt your gut reaction. You will always listen to the views of others, as you may secretly think they have all the answers.
Next time you worry that you are not good enough, speak to a trusted colleague. Do they think you are good enough? Be brave and take that step, even when its uncomfortable. Congratulate yourself for what you have achieved. As a part of the nursing family, you are amazing.