This page shares some advice and tips on taking care of yourself and your wellbeing, with information on hormones, masking, burnout and finding joy.

Hormones

Hormones like oestrogen and progesterone can change how the brain works, so they can strongly affect neurodivergent people, especially around periods and menopause.

Oestrogen affects brain chemicals that control mood, memory, learning, attention and sleep. Levels are lowest during a period, highest just before ovulation, and stay high in pregnancy.

Around perimenopause, oestrogen goes up and down a lot, then becomes steadily low after menopause.

How hormones can change brain chemicals

Oestrogen changes several brain chemicals:

• Dopamine: linked to reward, motivation, attention, planning and movement
• Serotonin: helps with mood, anxiety, appetite, pain, sleep and clear thinking.
• Glutamate: supports learning, memory and cognitive function
• Noradrenaline: linked to alertness, focus, motivation and low mood.

Progesterone affects gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) which can calm the brain and reduce anxiety and low mood, but progesterone levels also rise and fall during the cycle, pregnancy and menopause.

Menstrual cycle and neurodivergence

Monthly changes in oestrogen and progesterone can alter wellbeing, mood, anxiety, sleep, memory and executive function.

This can increase difficulties linked to ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia.

Some people find hormonal contraception worsens mood, while others feel it helps to stabilise symptoms.

Perimenopause and menopause

Perimenopause and menopause can make existing ADHD or autistic traits feel more intense or bring new cognitive, social, emotional and sensory challenges.

There may be more meltdowns, burnout, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts, so professional help is essential

An understanding GP can discuss support and treatments such as hormone replacement therapy, if suitable.

Being aware of how hormones affect you can help you plan harder tasks for “better” days and allow more rest and self-care on “harder” days.

Masking

Masking is when an individual ‘masks’ or hides behaviours which may be seen as 'socially unacceptable', and/or acts in a ‘socially acceptable’ way to fit in and connect with others.

Masking may include:

• suppressing their own wishes, views, preferences, and needs
• pre-prepared social scripts
• bottling up thoughts and feelings
• hiding discomfort or distress in response to sensory stimuli
• hiding stims, fidget items, or special interests
• forcing social interaction or adopting a persona
• pretending to be interested in small talk or a conversation topic
• altering tone of voice, facial expression, or forcing eye contact
• copying and practising others' responses, mannerisms, and attire.

The function of masking

Individuals may use masking for the following reasons:

• Social camouflage: Blending in with peers reduces the risk of rejection or exclusion
• Emotional protection: Containing vulnerable emotions prevents others from seeing inner struggles
• Professional adaptation: Masking is perceived as necessary to meet expectations
• Avoiding stigma: Concealing differences to avoid stereotypes or bias

The costs and benefits of masking

Masking can serve a purpose in certain situations, but it can also come at a cost. Understanding both sides can help you reflect on what feels right for you.

Masking over time can have an impact on wellbeing and sense of self. Some common challenges include:

• Identity conflict (feeling unsure of who you are beneath the mask)
• Emotional toll (the effort of constantly monitoring and adjusting behaviour can be exhausting)
• Loss of authenticity (suppressing natural responses or traits to fit in)
• Burnout (prolonged masking can lead to fatigue, stress, and reduced wellbeing)

For some, masking can offer short-term advantages in certain environments such as

• Social acceptance (helping to fit in and feel part of a group)
• Reduced discrimination (lowering the risk of negative judgement or bias)
• Emotional containment (keeping difficult emotions private when it feels safer to do so).

Unmasking

‘Unmasking’ is a personal choice and may be driven by self-exploration and a desire to be accepted for your neurodivergent self.

As masking can be an unconscious process, it can be difficult to know when we are masking, so how can we unmask? By:

• becoming aware of when and why you are masking
• identifying which masking behaviours may be unhelpful or harmful to you
• working on emotional regulation
• experimenting with dropping masking behaviour in safe situations with safe people.

Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic physical, emotional, and cognitive exhaustion caused by sustained sensory, social, and executive-function demands.

This is often worsened by masking and a lack of appropriate support, leading to a marked reduction in everyday functioning and capacity to study or work.

Signs of burnout

Signs of burnout can include:

• feeling overwhelmed
• crying
• shouting
• a physical response to self or others
• increased levels of anxiety/stress
• headaches
• insomnia
• back, neck, or shoulder pain
• digestive issues
• jaw clenching

Preventing burnout

There are practical ways to better understand your energy, communicate your needs, and create space to be yourself.

• Energy accounting: Exploring what charges and drains our batteries. Making time for rest and relaxation
• Unmasking: Having time off without the mask
• Developing self-compassion: You aren’t perfect; it makes you human. It’s important for you to spend some time and energy on your happiness
• Set boundaries: When are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Communicate your views and needs within relationships
• Expectations and accommodations: Allow flexibility in expectations and schedules where possible. Advocate for yourself at work and home

Energy accounting and the spoon theory

Imagine that each day, you have a limited number of “spoons” that represent your energy and ability to engage in activities.

For neurodivergent individuals, these “spoons” can represent cognitive resources, emotional regulation, and the capacity to manage sensory input:

• Executive functioning spoons
• Focus spoons
• Language spoons
• Physical activity spoons
• Sensory spoons
• Social spoons

Joy and glimmers

Neurodivergent joy is a meaningful, often sensory-rich experience that can feel immersive, calming, and deeply personal.

It could be:

• Uninhibited: feeling free from judgement from yourself or others
• Immersive: being fully absorbed in the moment
• Self-regulating: supporting balance and wellbeing (sensory, emotional, or cognitive)
• Expression: through movement, focus, creativity, or sensory experiences
• Comforting: bringing a sense of ease, connection, or satisfaction

Glimmers (everyday moments of joy)

'Glimmers' are small moments that bring comfort, interest, or excitement. These might be sensory, emotional or focus-based such as:

• music, textures, lights, or nature
• favourite activities or “hyperfocus” moments
• completing tasks, organising, learning something new
• familiar routines or comforting objects.

Glimmers are unique and look different for each person.

Why they matter

Glimmers can help to:

• support mental wellbeing
• help you feel grounded or focused
• signal safety and calm
• shift out of stress or overwhelm
• move out of survival mode

Keep in mind

• It’s okay to experience and express joy in your own way, even when it's different from others.
• You are never “too much” for being yourself and expressing joy authentically. 
• You will find your people who cherish and accept your true self.
• Your joy can bring joy to others as well.
• Remember to take breaks and rest. Even positive emotions can become overwhelming.