If you have experienced bullying, it can be difficult to decide what to do. There are several different approaches and you should consider which option you feel most comfortable with. Consider the different feelings you are experiencing. Some people feel self-doubt and anxiety, others lose confidence and self-esteem. Confusion about your self-worth may make it difficult to:
- recognise what is happening to you
- feel strong enough to take action
- know what action to take.
Step 1: Talk to others
It is often helpful to talk informally to friends, family, trusted colleagues or a workplace counsellor. This is one way to grasp what is happening to you, and clarify that you have a genuine problem.
Step 2: Keep a diary
If there is a problem then it is crucial to keep a detailed written record of incidents. This will clarify exactly what is happening and provides vital evidence if you decide to make a complaint. Do not write patient names and refer to any colleagues by using initials.
Complete your diary as soon as possible after each event. If it is hard to write things down at work, keep a note on your phone and write it down later at home. We will need to see this diary of events if you wish to take further action. It can also be very therapeutic to write down how you responded and how you felt at the time. If social media has been used, please also see the NMC's guidance here.
Please see an example diary below.
Date:
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Mon 11/06/18
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Tue 12/06/18
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Tue 12/06/18
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Time:
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7.30am
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10.30am
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8.25pm
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Where:
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Ward C
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Break room
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At home
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Who was there:
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RN FC, RN KT
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RN FC and RN KT
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Husband
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Witnesses:
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HCA SP
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Patient x
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What happened:
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Handover was being given. I was repeatedly ignored by both RN FC and RN KT when I asked about a patient.
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When moving a patient, I was shoved and told to 'move' by RN KT. I saw RN FC smile at this. The patient saw this and patted my hand.
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I had a Facebook message from RN KT stating 'Good day at work? Hope so'?
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How I felt:
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I cried in the toilets and felt isolated and angry.
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I was embarrassed and felt humiliated.
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Everything feels hopeless. Not sure if this will ever end.
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Step 3: Check your local policies
It is always important to familiarise yourself with your employer’s policy on bullying and harassment (it may be called ‘Dignity at work’). Please also see our employers responsibilities section below.
Step 4: Consider taking action
It can seem extremely daunting to speak out about bullying or to voice your concerns but in our experience many bullying cases can be resolved amicably by talking about it to management and following the local bullying policies. Options could include:
- Contacting your employee assistance programme (if you have one). Often they have a free counselling service which can really help you build your confidence, enabling you to to take action.
- Asking a trusted colleague to support you whilst you speak in confidence to your manager (sometimes a quiet word to the person will resolve the situation entirely).
- Following your employer’s policy and talking to your line manager or another manager to talk to the person you are complaining about informally. This is often referred to as conciliation.
If following your employers policy, ask will they use your name, when will they talk to the person and what happens next?
- Consider speaking to the person directly (on your own or with a colleague present). It can be very effective to tell the person to stop and explain that they are causing you distress. Their behaviour may be unintentional and they may stop if they are made aware of the effect it is having. Take a calm but firm approach and make a note of everything that is said, either at the time or immediately after.
- If you have been harassed related to your age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex or sexual orientation, call us without delay. You may also want to consider involving the police. Always follow your employer’s bullying and harassment policy. It is important that you call us on 0345 7726100 or contact your local RCN representative before registering your complaint or putting a formal grievance in writing. See Step 5.
Step 5: When to talk to us
In our experience, many bullying cases can be resolved amicably by talking about it to management and following the local bullying policies but please call us on 0345 7726100 if the bullying or harassment is:
- of a highly serious nature e.g. criminal act
- related to your age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex or sexual orientation
- ongoing, though you have tried to resolve it
- ongoing, and you feel you cannot take any action without our support.
Also call us if you are:
- involving the police (there are legal timescales for civil and employment tribunal harassment claims)
- considering making a formal complaint, grievance or taking legal action
- considering resigning
- off sick due to bullying or harassment.
Step 6: Investigation
We will assess your case and look at your diary of events
(see Step 2) and discuss the options with you. Sometimes a formal complaint will need to be made to your employer. Your employer should then investigate it thoroughly and quickly. If you are invited to attend an interview/investigation meeting, it is important that you do so as it may influence the outcome of your case. If the date and time is not appropriate please ask if an alternative date is possible and see if you can take a representative from either the RCN or students’ union with you. Depending on your circumstances it may be appropriate to reassign you to another area or placement until the situation is resolved. It is a normal part of the investigation process to ask the parties involved not to discuss the case with other colleagues as this could influence the outcome of the investigation. You can talk to your RCN representative, counsellor or occupational health adviser. If you are asked to submit a written statement as part of your employer's investigation, please see our guidance on
statements.
Step 7: Results of the investigation
After completing the investigation, the investigator may decide:
- there is no case to answer and further action is not justified. The reason for this decision must be made clear to you
- that mediation is an option and if you agree, the other party will be informed and if both parties are committed then discussions will be held to rebuild the relationship
- disciplinary action is appropriate, in which case there will be a disciplinary hearing.
If you are unhappy with the outcome, talk to your RCN representative about what you can do next.